Jennifer’s Body review – Amanda Seyfried rules, Megan Fox drools (blood, that is)

Image credit: Dead Fox by JT-Pixel

Before we begin, let me get this out of the way:

Megan Fox is hot. Truly hot. Astoundingly hot. If you thought she looked good in Transformers and, um, Transformers 2, you haven’t seen anything yet. I was genuinely agog during some of her best moments. And there isn’t much time wasted between those moments. This film is stuffed full of scenes designed solely to show some oogleable aspect of – well, the title kinda gives it away. Let me not stress this enough: Megan Fox is fit.

Good. I’ve said it. Now, I can get on with the movie review.

Se7en: the top secret alternative ending – exclusively revealed by Crunkfish

Exclusively revealed: the hidden alternative ending to Se7en (spoiler alert should go without saying). Presented here is an exact copy of what was in the original script…

[Morgan Freeman opens up the box and, holy shit!, it's Gwyneth Paltrow's head! He rushes back to Kevin Spacey talking crap about envy and whatnot to Brad Pitt. Will he make it in time before Brad gives in to wrath and shoots Spacey in the face!?]

Tory Europhobe wants to teabag you and your country

If you’re a huge fan of populist ignorance (as I am), you’ll love Daniel Hannan’s inauguration of the British Tea Party. This toothless vanity project is an attempt to replicate the so-called success of the American far right original. From what I’ve seen, the greatest achievement of the US Tea Party has been inspiring thousands of posts from liberal bloggers mocking their inferior conservative kin. Something to look forward to then.

Ignoring Hannan’s spurious motivation for the time being, what is he hoping for from this emulation of the “spontaneous” (Hannan’s generous description – The Smirking Chimp has an article revealing exactly how grass roots the US Tea Party movement is) American protest? I can show you…

Crunkfish RSS feed URL has changed!

Hello. In the last few minutes, I’ve shifted the Crunkfish RSS feed to a feedburner format. While this is annoying for multiple reasons, I want to refresh my knowledge of the feed analytics tool and have to go through this painful transition.

This may have resulted in anybody already subscribing to this blog being lost. If this has happened, I’m genuinely sorry. I hope you subscribe again and forgive me.

Cheers.

David Cameron’s campaign of bullshit statistics

Why, after 13 years of an increasingly unpopular government with very few friends in the British media, have the Tories got nothing more than spurious statistics, dodgy data and idealised ideas on which to base their election campaign?

I was pleased with Gordon Brown’s speech this morning as I thought it succinctly summed up some pretty damning fuck ups of the Opposition. My personal favourite has to be the claim earlier this week that a whopping 54% of girls in the most deprived areas of Britain get pregnant before they turned 18. Crikey. Britain, much like the big, flappy vaginas of those young ladies, must truly be broken.