Vatican’s ‘new’ sins ensure Seven sequel will not be as good

I had assumed the Vatican had spent the last few years quietly encouraging the spread of AIDs in Africa, only emerging from their shadowy chambers to condemn anything that challenges their dogmatic belief system. As it turns out, my assumptions were as misguided as their faith as the Vatican announced that they have been busily drafting a new set of social sins – presumably to prove to people that they still give a shit.

I’m not sure if this new and improved list is intended to replace the old one, or if it’s merely pointless. One thing’s for sure though, the list really is pointless. And, as LVHRD.ORG point out, there’s actually only five sins in there. Oh, Vatican you cheeky bastards! We paid you for seven!

1. “Bioethical” violations such as birth control
2. “Morally dubious” experiments such as stem cell research
3. Drug abuse
4. Polluting the environment
5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
6. Excessive wealth
7. Creating poverty

A friend of mine once aimed to break the old seven sins before lunchtime – with these funky, modern ones I just don’t even see the point in trying. Except for the one about unprotected sex. Trust me, first-timers. It feels soooo much better.