From Saviour to Smug Git: The Decline of Nick Clegg (Part 2)

Tearing himself away from such important duties as helping his boss put up furniture, Supreme Architect of Change Clegg found the time to pop into the Lib Dem conference and catch up with some old friends. “Don’t panic,” he told the assembled throng of confused councillors and muddled members, unsure about their party’s political alignment, “this is the Right, government for Right, now”. [I think I punctuated that correctly...]

So, as the smugliest swanker in Westminster accused the IFS of partisanship after they pointed out evidential flaws in his flagship tax programme AND patronised his gathered Liberal flock following their apparently ignorant rejection of the coalition’s Free Schools idea, you would expect the People’s Deputy PM to carefully avoid making too easy a target of himself. Avid followers of Clegg’s dizzying (in the strictest sense of the word) career, however, will not be disappointed to learn that he didn’t (maybe he should’ve got Dave to do a sanity check when he showed it to him?).

Which is why FactCheck’s Cathy Newman was able to easily parry many of his hardest-hitting claims. I suppose with a wife as lovely and wholesome as the delightful Miriam, it’s no surprise Clegg’s on-the-side relationship with the truth is fleeting – and kinda rapey.

As commenter Cuse says:

Clegg claimed in his speech today:
“We have protected the funding for the NHS, the biggest public service of all.”

Interesting.

Wasn’t it the Lib Dems who had in their manifesto the promise not to ring-fence NHS spending?

So…he has claimed credit for policies that haven’t happened yet (closing Yarl’s Wood); claimed sole responsibility for policies that his Tory Masters also had (pupil premium); and now claimed responsibility for policies that he vigorously campaigned against in the election (ring-fenced NHS spending).

The man’s arrogance is breathtaking.

Unfortunately, Cuse does not seem to understand the nature of this New Politics. He still seems to think there are four lights. He must learn there’s simply no future for the Liberal Democrats if they continue to do what their stupid voters voted for. Making vague promises about improbable changes to Our Country is the new Lib Dem strategy for distinctiveness.

This New Politics is coalescent. It’s a mingling of blue and yellow. It’s a mongrel dog. It’s a red-hot interracial sex scene. The only constant is Nick Clegg’s unshakeable belief in… well, whatever he believes in at the time.

We, the people, can either learn to keep up, ‘get wit’ da nu programme’, or be left behind, wallowing in the politics of the noughties, ignorant of all the brave and brilliant things Clegg has done for us (at great emotional cost to himself, no doubt).

By the time of the next election, I’m sure there’ll be numerous examples of Clegg’s “brilliance” for us to look back on. Ah, here’s one now… Oh, and another. Keep ‘em coming, Mr. Clegg!

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