Supergirl. Don’t get me started.
Is it too much to ask that the supremely boffable cousin of the Last Son of Krypton eventually stars in her own movie? Personally, I would like the next Superman flick to co-star the skirt-tastic superbabe in a movie that departs radically from the old Reeves-era style, the tone of which was carried on in Brian Singer’s latest. Tragically, this is a topic that occupies my mind on a regular basis and, one day, I may pour my vision onto the pages of this blog…
Until then, there are more pressing matters than the storyline – the choice of actress to play Kara Zor-El. Odds are, the powers that be will pick some undiscovered talent who makes an enthusiastic entrance into the world of stardom before disappearing from our radar, her spirit being kept alive on the internets cached within the hive of fake nude and nipple slip sites.
Still, we can dream – so here are five of my possible choices for the role of Supergirl in my imaginary movie…what are your thoughts?
5. Elisha Cuthbert
My first choice. She has the looks, the body and the attitude to pull off the angsty and aggressive Supergirl I have in mind. I am only hesitant because I don’t think I’ve ever seen her, y’know, act or anything.
4. Hayden Panettiere
Already experienced at playing a hero, Hayden would be an excellent, if obvious, choice. She’s also a teenager still, which fits in perfectly with the story of Kara being sent back to ‘babysit’ her infant cousin. She will be able to pull off a far more naive and innocent Supergirl, while still looking freakishly hot in a cape.
3. Brittany Murphy
No, hear me out. Although a bit old – I guess – Brittany’s got that youthful thang about her that might just work in making her a bit more of a crunky Supergirl. The Murphy Kara is far more distraught and torn about finding herself on an alien planet – she’s off the rails, confused and infused with incredible powers from our yellow sun. Yikes.
2. Scarlett Johnanssen
One of the most gorgeous women in the world, Scarlett Johanssen already looks like she was lovingly crafted from the pen of the world’s greatest comic book artist. Again, her ability to act must be brought into question and there’s the risk that she will suck all the fun from the movie. It will be worth it though. Oh yes, it will be worth it.
1. Paris Hilton
The queen of all-that-is-wrong-in-the-world may be the perfect candidate to bring Supergirl back to the big screen. Why? Well, she’ll be an interesting draw – guaranteeing a budget at least. She occasionally looks quite hot in a trashy way, which might work. Umm…no, you’re right. That’s an awful idea. Unless you did a parallel universe kinda story where Kara landed in a trailer park and was brought up to be a moronic media whore? It might work.
What do you folks think?