Now that all the April 1st silliness has stopped polluting the internet with its nonsense, we can return to concentrating on the news that matters…really matters. I am talking, of course, about horny monkey updates.
NewScientist proves it deserves the title of “only science magazine you’ve ever heard of” by enlightening us with the sexual habits of Barbary macaques.
Much like most humans, these monkeys listen in while their neighbours are furiously going at it like the bloody clappers. Unlike humans, this appears to be a natural and acceptable process of their evolution. As the NS explains
“The ejaculation-inducing cries of promiscuous female macaques during sex arouse other local males – perhaps to increase her chances of multiple matings”
Ejaculation-inducing cries? Multiple matings? Is it just me or is that block of text fucking hot? Those prick-teases over at NS HQ don’t stop there – they’ve even included a video:
Which has resulted in some great comments by the typically intellectual YouTube crowd:
ChrisJolly28 – “She’s a slut”
Ticklish SSBB – “I just blew my fucking load all over the keyboard”