Ahhh, I love this video. It’s with a mixture of pride and shame that I can boast of pulling off every move this guy displays out in the real world. I’m annoyed that he missed off the classic Bomfunk MCs though. That was a staple at the school disco and I used to bomfunk my ass off to that. Ah, what a joy it is to reminisce about the past from that most unassailable and comfortable of vantage points, the present. Standing in the shadow of the Foreboding Lighthouse looking across Deep Regret Bay, I can opt to spend fifty pence and use one of the rose-tinted telescopes that gives me a perfect view of the Coast of Irretrievable Youthfulness. Of course, if you’re anything like me you’ll like to twist it slightly to the left where you can (on a clear day) get a glimpse of the sunbathing beauties on Rebuff Beach. This is the favoured hang-out point of all those girls from your childhood who you lusted after but wouldn’t shag you with a barge pole. Or words to that effect. If only it was possible to send a message in a bottle through time so you can tell your past self the secret to getting laid!*
Anyway, here’s the video:
And, for enthusiasts, the Optimus Prime version…
*In case you’re unaware, the secret to getting laid when you’re a teenager (as I found out way too late) is this: Teenage girls can not really distinguish between someone who is good looking or ugly, intelligent or dumb, rude or conscientious, love machine or quasi-rapist. Most of these distinctions are largely irrelevant by any means, while those that do matter are not really decided by the girl; she just believes what she’s been told. While there are lots of things that influence a young girl’s mind, the most often overlooked is You. In short, there are only two things you need to do to make sure you get sex: 1) Get noticed, and 2) Be an arrogant twat. Therefore, the advice I’m going to give my children when they get to a certain age is that if you’re at a party and the chances of you getting laid aren’t too good just drop your pants. Never fails.