Miley Cyrus haunts my YouTube

I don’t care about Miley Cyrus; I barely even know who she is. Though wasn’t that the name of John Malkovich’s character in Con Air? Which is certainly a contender for only decent reason why Nicholas Cage should be allowed to make movies – not to mention a vest.

I certainly haven’t watched any Smiley Virus videos. Like, ever. So the only possible reason I can think of why My YouTube Recommendations should offer two videos (out of three) of this, presumed, piece of jailbait poplette ass is that either: a) Miley Cyrus now makes up 77% of everything on the internet or b) the recommendation thing is just plain silly. Whichever one it is, neither are very interesting to talk about.

The other current meme making its way across the blogosphere is this Olympics viral campaign thing that’s being over-shared to death. It’s almost enough to incite me to write a How to Spend a Few Hours Online without Being Bored by People Talking About the Olympics post.

Here’s a quick how-to on “how to” block the Olympics from your personal infosphere:

1. Try to spend as much time reading your feeds on Google Reader – actively seeking knowledge is so anti-progress anyway – and install this script to add a filter. Enter Smellympic terms in the exclude box and rejoice at your shitty contest free world.

2. If you have to venture into the wilds of the web this approach is no good. To give yourself a fighting chance of remaining a Fairly Interesting Person, use the negative Google search operator. If you use ‘-olympics’ after every search term, your value over life ratio will increase.

3. In extreme cases, you may need to use one of those netnanny products (In the future, I’d like to see some stats showing the relationship between NetNanny’d homes and kids who end up as porn stars/crack whores/rapists) and see if they can be switched to block all Gay-lympic stuff instead of the good stuff. Extra bonus, using these programs you can even protect yourself from instant messenging conversations with people talking about the Dullympic Lames! I may apply that to any conversations I have with chicks which don’t devolve into cybering after five mins. Cut those prick-teases off!

And that’s my key to a far more fulfilling lifestyle over the next…however many days/weeks/months this thing lasts for. Can’t we just go back to being afraid/exploiting of China and stop pretending to give a shit that their hosting of the games is the first step to greater inclusion with the ‘global community’?

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